home • ask thelma • archive

How should I introduce people? & How do I remember peoples names?

Dear Thelma:

I've heard there is a specific way you are supposed to properly introduce people to one another. What is it?

Answer:

The way we meet and greet individuals makes a first impression and leaves a lasting one. Introductions must always demonstrate great consideration and respect. Remember two essential points: Introductions must be made, and there is an order in which to make them.

Business introductions are based on rank. It is proper to present a person of lesser authority to a person of senior authority. You will do it correctly if you say the more important person's name first, as in the following examples: "Ms. Montoya, I'd like you to meet our new account rep Mr. Steve Blackwell. Ms. Carla Montoya is our chief financial officer." Or, "Mayor Alexander, please meet our new summer intern John Carter."

In the case of a client, the client always occupies the position of most importance: "Dr. Chavez, this is Ms. Ann Honeywell, our chief executive officer. Dr. Dominic Chavez is our client from Phoenix."

When introducing people of equal rank, present the person you know well to the one you don't know well: "Diana, I'd like you to meet Jerry Carlson. Jerry is a partner in my firm. Diana Smith is a partner at the Hurst Firm."

Provide professional titles when necessary, such as judge, doctor or ambassador. Finally, always give some information about each of the people you've introduced to help inspire conversation between them.

Dear Thelma:

I've recently attended several fund-raising events and seen many of the same people. Unfortunately, I can't always remember their names. How do I handle this?

Answer:

Everyone has forgotten a name along the way. Exhibiting good manners when our memory slips simply means remaining poised. When someone's name has left your brain, stay calm and state just that: "Forgive me, but I've just drawn a blank. Please remind me what your name is." Then gracefully move on to more interesting conversation.

You may wish to reintroduce yourself, "Hello, we met at the museum function. I'm Sue Edwards, nice to see you again."

To help the memory, some people imagine the name of the person stamped on their forehead. Others repeat the person's name several times during the course of conversation.

Requesting a business card is appropriate and will provide a visual reference for the name. Later, you can write a few notes on the back to jog your memory as to your conversation or what the person looked like.

When playing the name game, good manners never go out of style.